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Phone sex, anyone? ___2000-12-27 - 21:53:53

Well, it sure has been a while. Nearly a week. And for once, things have actually been happening in my life.

My boyfriend Robert and I call and talk to each other at least once a day. *smiling* God, I hate being me.

I mean, I love him to death, but I'm still afraid of what may happen to him. I don't want to hurt him like I hurt all the others . . . like I hurt Paul.

Paul. Now THERE was a mistake. I wish I could forget him COMPLETELY . . . but I can't. And I won't.

I wish I could tell Robert that. I can tell him almost anything. Hell, I HAVE.

In the last couple of days something has happened between Robert and I . . . (NO, we didn't sleep together or anything . . . we haven't even KISSED yet.) something forbidden . . . and still somehow enticing.

The other night, we were so close . . . it seemed so real. My BODY told me it was . . .

Have you ever been so caught up in someone's voice that you could tell everything about them? What made them happy/sad . . . what made them angry/relaxed . . . what made them HOT . . .

Hn. I can't believe I just said that. But it's true. I'm in love with a voice. And it's a voice that can make my whole being tremble in anticipation . . . my breath turn ragged . . . my pulse race . . . my voice cry out . . . my body -- well, maybe I shouldn't go into details. To keep it short, I was honest to God turned on.

I hate to admit it, but phone sex with him could be the best thing in the world.

If only . . . no. I can't. No matter how much I want to . . . and how much I have telling me to take the chance . . . I have even more holding me back.

~Duo no Tsuin~